Hi, I'm Aliya!

Hi, I'm Aliya!

Last Saturday I went to brunch with Mike at this really good diner.

Post grilled cheese and eggs he reached out his hands across the table for me to hold.

A totally nice gesture! 

When I put my hands in his, I gasped.

His hands felt super rough!

Like gasp-worthy rough.

He's been going to a personal trainer and lifting weights so "baby soft hands" isn't his forte right now.

I immediately reacted, "Dude...your hands! I just got scratched (and exfoliated)!"

We both broke into laughter.

And then I overheard a girl at the table next to us.

She whispered to those she was sitting with:

"I can't imagine ever saying something like that to my boyfriend. Like, 'your hands are too rough,' or 'your hands aren't rough enough.'"

I immediately tensed up.

Did she really just say that?

My thoughts began wavering between -- ""But she doesn't know our relationship!" to.."But, I'm a good person!" and..."She doesn't know that I was feeling a little irritable that morning anyway!"

Then it hit me.

This little "ah-ha" moment that's so easy to forget.

Especially during those times we're triggered.

When we're in the midst of a knee-jerk reaction.

My thoughts were my attempt at defending myself.

When it reality...

This was a perfect opportunity to be understanding towards her. 

It sounds backwards.

But the truth is...

"I don't know her relationship. That she could be a good person. That maybe she was feeling a little irritable that morning."

In that very moment when I was judging Mike and she was judging me, then I was judging her...I realized...

We were all just people.

Having a human experience over eggs on a Saturday morning.

Having opinions like we humans tend to do.

So...

What if we swapped defending for understanding?

What if we dropped anger for curiosity?

What would that do for our life when we're feeling triggered?

For our business when we get annoyed at our results?

For our prospecting when we get angry when someone drops the ball?

For our sales calls when someone has objections or doesn't understand the value?

For our confidence when we're frustrated or scared to put ourselves out there?

For our Saturday brunches with Sig-O when a you overhear a comment from a table to the left?

When I told Mike what I'd overheard I asked him if I should feel bad about how I reacted. He reached out and held my hand, and I held his back, without any comments.

I think he understood.

 

 

 

 

 

 

PS: If you’ve been following my blog you’ve noticed I’ve been MIA. The past 4 months I’ve been going full-throttle on a project (that's debuting early next year)!


If you want to take things ALL the way and are hankering for some inspiration...get some by check out my latest video above (and learn more about what I've been up to, too)!


I love you. I am rooting for you!

Now. And always.

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